Renee Yvonne [00:00:02]:
Hey, lovers and fabulous pleasure seekers. Have you been in a rut in your relationship and feeling like things have been stagnant? Well, if that's you, I want to help you solve your stagnation problems by following these six simple rules. I'm Renee Yvonne. I am the host of the Pleasure Years and the owner of Pleasure Prescription. And this podcast is where we talk about how to keep intimacy hot and fun and satisfying. Because you know what? Pleasure never gets old. So today, what I'm going to talk about is one of the big things that happen in relationships. They get stagnant.

Renee Yvonne [00:00:41]:
They can get stale, especially if you're not working on it. And you know that feeling when your relationship feels more like a business partnership than it feels like a love affair and when intimacy feels like an afterthought rather than a priority. Well. Well, let's talk about six things you can do to help get you out of that rut and bring back the passion that you crave in your relationship. So stick with me. At the end of this episode, I'm going to also tell you how you can take that step even further by purchasing one of my Pleasure Prescription workshops. All right, so let's get ready. Step one.

Renee Yvonne [00:01:19]:
One of the things I find that people do in relationships is they start assuming and they stop asking, and what do I mean by that? You've been together for a while, and so you kind of made assumptions about what your partner wants or what they like or what they don't like or what they don't want to do instead of asking them. Because you know what happens as we get older? We evolve. Our desires evolve, and things change for us. What we liked when we were 30, we might still like, but we might also have expanded to like new things, different things. And sometimes we forget that that's happening, and we never ask our partner. So maybe the stuff that you like, for instance, maybe you really enjoyed a lot of cuddling and foreplay, but as you got older, you're like, man, I kind of want to try some kink. Maybe I want to, you know, try a new toy. And instead of saying that to your partner or asking your partner if their desires have changed, we.

Renee Yvonne [00:02:24]:
We just keep assuming that things are good the way they are or that nothing's different or that there's these other issues. They just don't want you anymore. Instead of saying, what's going on, let's talk about this, and let's see how we can figure out what's happening and how we can get there. I've often told Partners that sometimes what's happening is that their partner might be bored. It's not that they don't want them. But imagine if every time you get into the bed or the car. Car or wherever it is that you have sex, it's the same exact thing. And you're doing that two or three times a week, every single week for years.

Renee Yvonne [00:02:59]:
They're bored. They want to try something different. It's not that they don't love you. It's that they just want something else. And if you don't ever ask and you just keep assuming they don't want you, guess what? No one gets what they want. So here's your pleasure prescription. Next time you're having a quiet moment, ask your partner what. What is something you've been curious to try in the bedroom? Okay? Just ask them and see what they say.

Renee Yvonne [00:03:23]:
Or what's something that we haven't done in a while that you miss? You will be very surprised at the answers you get. Okay? That's your first pleasure prescription number two. Prioritize playfulness over perfection. Sometimes we get into intimate situations, and because of movies and media, we think that it's always supposed to be romantic and amazing and the music is flowing and playing in the background, and, oh, the hair is blowing in the wind. And that's crap, right? For most of us, it's never like that. It's not about having this flawless perfection. It's about connection and having fun. So when you're having that intimate moment, make sure it's playful.

Renee Yvonne [00:04:04]:
Keep the relationship exciting. Stop worrying about if you're doing it right and if you're focused on the right thing and just enjoy the moment. Okay? So here's your pleasure prescription. For that, try playing a fun, sexy game. There's tons on the market that you can get into. There's date night games. There's let's get deep is one that I'm looking at right now. There's explore yourself together.

Renee Yvonne [00:04:28]:
There's all these different types of games. So what you can do is go to do a field trip to an adult store and pick out a fun game, have a dance party in your underwear, experiment with a new toy together. I always have toy recommendations if you need them. Okay, so explain the toy together. So that's number two. Number three, keep touch alive every single day. All right? Now, I know sometimes I've heard this from women and wives. They will say, every time you touch me, it's like he wants to have sex.

Renee Yvonne [00:05:00]:
And sometimes you want to be touched, but you don't necessarily want to have sex or have it lead to that. So make sure that you're touching isn't just about the sex. Sometimes they just want to just hold hands. Sometimes you just want to touch a partner's face. Maybe you do want to be playful and grab their but butt or you want to smack them on the butt a little bit, grab their arm, you know, a lingering kiss, a butt squeeze in the kitchen, holding hands when you're walking. These small touches can create a foundation of intimacy and it also creates a deeper connection and better sex. When it leads to that, it makes it more natural. So if you're touching throughout the day, just non sexual touch or playful sexual touches, but it doesn't always lead to sex.

Renee Yvonne [00:05:44]:
It can make it so much better for your partner because they feel like they treated me like a human, just not like a sexual object. So here's your pleasure prescription. Make it a goal to touch your partner in a loving, intentional way at least five times a day. It could be a peck on the cheek, it could be a hug, it could be hand holding, it could be touching their face, it could be greeting them after you get home from work. Whatever it is, just make sure that you lovingly touch them, but that it doesn't necessarily have to lead to sex. And that's your third pleasure prescription number four. Shake up your routine. One of the things that gets us into a rut is routines, right? It's predictable.

Renee Yvonne [00:06:27]:
It's like, okay, you pay the bills, you pick up the kids from school, or you have the grandkids over on Saturday or whatever it is, right? But that predictability in the bedroom is super boring. Like I mentioned that earlier, right? You get into that rut and it's like, oh, okay, we're going to kiss for three minutes and then we're going to have a little bit of oral sex for a few minutes and then we're going to have penetrative sex and then he's going to roll over and it'll be done. And you're like, great, okay, this is over. All right, so if that's the case, then you need to shake up some things in the bedroom. If date night always looks the same, you go to the same restaurant, you do the same sexual positions, you have the same bedtime routine, it's time to switch it up. So what can you do? I mean, the simplest thing, if you have a date night and you go to a restaurant, is two things. One, don't go to a restaurant and do other date things, right? You could switch the day of your date night. Maybe it's a different day of the week and you visit a museum.

Renee Yvonne [00:07:23]:
You go to a wine tasting. Maybe you do paint and sip. Maybe you. You try that indoor skydiving. You go roller skating. You do something different besides sit in a restaurant and eat. Okay, if it's positions, maybe you say, look, let's. Let's find.

Renee Yvonne [00:07:38]:
Let's go online, let's see what we can find. Let's try some new positions. Let's get a book together and see what we could do and make it fun. It's the same bedroom routine, right? You know, maybe you switch that up. Maybe you give each other a massage before you go to bed. Maybe take a bath or a shower together. So here's your pleasure prescription for shake up your routine, which I just gave you, right? Your pleasure route. Your pleasure prescription for this.

Renee Yvonne [00:08:04]:
Find something different to do on date night besides eat. You can eat, but don't make that the focus of the date. Okay? Number two, read some erotic stories to each other or find some erotic material that will help inspire you to try new positions and new toys and new things like that. And then number three, the third one in there is to try sensual massage. If you don't know about central massage, I will be happy to do a video on that to show you how central massage works so that you can keep your partner engaged. And it's a way to just bring in that intimacy in a different way. All right, number five, address the elephant in the bedroom. All right, Sometimes what happens in the bedroom is there's low libido, and it can be due to medication side effects.

Renee Yvonne [00:08:54]:
If you're taking opioids for some type of back pain, you're taking high blood pressure medication, you're taking medication for depression. Those things can help. Will help can lower your libido. Sorry about that. Maybe there's erectile dysfunction issues. There's. Or you're having. You're ejaculating too quickly, or maybe you're having difficulty getting an erection at all.

Renee Yvonne [00:09:20]:
There may be vaginal dryness due to menopause. So these midlife body changes are real. They happen, but ignoring them doesn't happen. Help. We can't just act like it's not there. You can't just go, well, you know, I wonder if she knows we haven't had sex in the last two months. Yeah, she notices that. You know, you can't just.

Renee Yvonne [00:09:39]:
You can't just assume that she's not paying attention or he's not paying attention. You know, I wonder if he Knows this. We haven't done this. Yes, he notices. So don't ignore it. Okay? Your pleasure prescription for this is to talk about it. To go to a physician if it is a physical medical issue that you need to deal with. But the best thing you could do, and the first thing you need to do is to discuss it.

Renee Yvonne [00:10:02]:
You need to be honest. Babe, I've been taking this medication. I don't feel like myself, honey. I have been struggling with premature ejaculation or getting an erection. I don't know what to do. There are cock rings that can help with that. There's medication that can help with that vaginal dryness. We just.

Renee Yvonne [00:10:19]:
We might just need some lube. Maybe you do need a little bit more hormonal treatment. But let's start with the stuff that we know we can work with and let's talk about it, because you can only change this if you're willing to have the conversation. So your pleasure prescription is this, for this one is have the conversation. And finally, number six, invest in your pleasure education. When we're growing up, no one talks about pleasure. And we barely, just barely talk about sex. And we talk about sex in the most clinical way possible.

Renee Yvonne [00:10:51]:
It doesn't necessarily sound fun. It's like you put a penis in a vagina and then a baby comes up and it's. You could get a disease like we talk about in this horrible way. I remember this from grade school and I went to Catholic school so I could tell you how fun it was learning there. But we don't. We don't talk about it from a pleasure standpoint. Right? And we kind of assume that whatever we learn from our friends and probably porn, is the way it's done and we may never think about it again. But I don't know why, because it's such a strong foundation and so many relationships.

Renee Yvonne [00:11:24]:
It is one of the two major things that break people up, money and sex. And yet somehow we don't think we should get educated on how to please our partners. It's mind boggling to me how we just assume. We just know these things because we have parts, right? But in order to really be a great, caring lover for your partner and to thrive in that relationship, you need to get some new skills. Sometimes you just. That's just something you have to do. And so what I've done in this one is I've created a pleasure prescription workshop series. I will be coming out with those over the next couple of weeks.

Renee Yvonne [00:12:02]:
I do have some already. There's. There is couple pleasure Mapping, which is an amazing workshop where I work with a couple and we talk about what we talk about, first of all, the anatomy, both male and female. We talk about how to pleasure that anatomy. We talk about response cycles and how people, how sexual response cycles work, how people respond to things. And then we go into the pleasure that you want. So oftentimes what I have couples do is I talk about, we do an exercise where we're like, what are some things you like to do? What are some things you definitely don't want to do? And then what are some things you're like? That's on my maybe list. I might try it.

Renee Yvonne [00:12:47]:
So we do a list like that and then we also do the couple's pleasure map and where we talk about what a sexual experience was like that you didn't enjoy and what's your ideal one. And we figure out how to get you to the place of where you're having your ideal sexual experience every single time you go into one. I also have a workshop called Plan Pleasure her and it's all about pleasuring the vulva. You'll learn the anatomy of the vulva, how it works, how it responds to touch and pleasure, and you'll also learn some techniques called massage, which is an amazing technique if you don't know anything about it. This is an incredible technique to do when you're not quite in the mood or maybe you're having erectile issues, you can still pleasure your partner without having to do penetrative stuff. Sex. I also have my most popular class, which is blow his mind or pleasure his penis class. And in that class we talk about all things blowjobs.

Renee Yvonne [00:13:42]:
Also, I do one called cock worshiping, and we talk about how to massage the penis in a way. Again, if you're not in the mood, you're having erectile issues, you don't feel like giving a blow job. This is an incredible technique that I think all people should know who love penises should know in order to pleasure their partner. So I have those workshops already ready to go, and those are ones you can sign up for, but I'm adding more every other week because I realize that there's so many people that are dealing with a variety of things. I want to provide those workshops for them. Right? So these, each of these series deep dive sessions, I'll teach you exact steps to how to reignite your intimacy, overcome barriers, and create the the passion you deserve. So if you are ready to transform your love life, join one of my upcoming workshops. You'll walk away with practical strategies and sexy solutions tailored for your midlife and beyond.

Renee Yvonne [00:14:39]:
These spots are limited, so sign up now. I'll send the link in the show notes of the podcast. Okay, so I've given you six ways to keep your relationship from being stagnant, and that's it for today's episode. If you love this, please feel free to share with a friend who needs to hear it. And don't forget, passion doesn't fade with time. And also, pleasure never gets old. Until next time, stay sexy, stay curious, and remember, pleasure never gets old. I'll see you later.

Renee Yvonne [00:15:10]:
Bye.