Renee Yvonne [00:00:02]:
Hello everyone. This is Renee Yvonne, and welcome to the Pleasure Years. This podcast is where we serve up real talk and hot tips and a whole lot of love for your sex life after 50. I am your host, Renee Yvonne, the gen sexologist. And I'm here to remind you that pleasure never gets old. So today I want to talk about something that I think a lot of US experience after 50, and that is going to be, that's going to be moving intimacy beyond the bedroom. Now, I know you may think this something we all experience, Renee. Sometimes we do, right? We get older and the sex starts to wane, our hormones start to fluctuate, but it doesn't mean that we don't still love each other.

Renee Yvonne [00:00:55]:
It doesn't mean that we don't still want to be together, right? And so how can we create that intimacy beyond the bedroom? And that's why I'm going to talk about this today, because this can help you in all other areas of your life and your relationship. By moving to beyond the bedroom, we can transform relationships. We can create these deeper emotional, physical and spiritual, spiritual connections with our partner. So today I'm just going to give you a list to inspire you and see what you think of it. So here's some ways to move beyond the bedroom. Number one, creating some intimate rituals. Now, this could be something as simple as a morning coffee date together or a weekend coffee date together. Like every week, you know you're going to do this and this is the time that you share together.

Renee Yvonne [00:01:48]:
You don't talk about the kids or the grandkids or work or anything like that. This is a time to just focus on you talk about what you're excited about, what you're working on, a book you've read. This is the time to really create those intimate moments. Maybe you are reading a book together. I don't know if you've just done, ever done that with your partner. Sometimes it, sometimes it works, right? Especially if you have the same interest in books. But what if you have different interests? How about you switch off? Maybe he likes nonfiction, you like fiction or vice versa, and you switch off and you read that book together and share it. The other thing you can do is to get a jar and do some appreciation for each other.

Renee Yvonne [00:02:28]:
So this is really simple, just leaving a little love note. Take a post it note and write something down that you really love about your partner. And this is a great time to go back and look at some of those things. In a month or two months, go back and look about, look at what your partner wrote about you and see if that doesn't make you feel a little bit closer to them. The second thing you can do is to flirt, right? Remember when we were younger, you flirted with people. You may have batted your eyelashes, you may have touched the person, giggled at their jokes, and then you get together and over time that ends. You're like, whatever, I've heard that story a billion times. But there are ways to keep the flirting going in your relationship.

Renee Yvonne [00:03:16]:
You might send a little sexy text during the day letting them know that you can't wait to see them. Or maybe you send a little flirty picture. We don't always have to send a nude, right? You don't always have to send a dick pic. You don't always have to send a pic that, you know, you may not want to get out into the public, but what if your partner really loves your cleavage and you just take a picture of the cleavage from like, you know, to the torso, or they've got a thing about feet and you put your, you know, you put a great pair of shoes and just send a picture of that so you can do something interesting like that. Just to be a little fun and flirty throughout the day, you might want to surprise them with a kiss of touch when they least expect it. If you haven't been flirting and creating this intimacy throughout your relationship or on a regular basis, this can be really fun. When they're in the kitchen cooking or washing dishes, just walk up to your partner, put your arms around them, hug them, kiss them on the cheek, let them know that you still find them attractive and sexy, okay? The third thing you might want to do to create some more intimacy is to explore new activities together. Learning something new is always, for me, is always a lot of fun.

Renee Yvonne [00:04:27]:
And doing it with somebody that you love creates these wonderful shared memories. And so this might be something where you take a tour, be a tourist in your own city. I'm from Washington, D.C. and I am embarrassed to tell you that I don't see most of the things that other people come all the way across the world to see. I've only been to the African American Museum one time, and I've only seen the bottom level. And I live here. Do you understand what I'm saying? I bike, pass it to work, and I never make the time to go in there and do that. And it's something that, as I'm saying this, I'm like, you know what? I'm going to get some tickets.

Renee Yvonne [00:05:05]:
Me and my fiance are going to go do that. We Create these shared memories together. Okay? And do it. And maybe get. Don't do these things in a fun way. Maybe not just get in a car and go there. Maybe you bike there, Maybe you take the train there. If you have a subway system, or you take the bus, maybe take an Uber.

Renee Yvonne [00:05:23]:
Don't worry about parking at all. Just, you know, kind of glam it up. Take a Uber exit, show up, and go do that thing. And this creates those really cool shared memories. And make sure you take pictures while you're doing it. Maybe you want to take a class together. We have places here. Sur la Table is one of them.

Renee Yvonne [00:05:42]:
And you can sign up and take a couples class or take an individual class or take, you know, take the class together. But maybe you want to learn how to finally grill a steak, or maybe you want to learn how to finally make that souffle or something like that, and you take that class together. And again, this. The novelty of it all creates excitement, and you have these shared memories that you can hold on to. The other thing you might want to do is to take a dance class. Dancing close together always conjures up some fun times, right? Especially dancing close, you know, close to each other. So maybe you take salsa dancing or you take bachata lessons. Just take something kind of fun and see how it goes.

Renee Yvonne [00:06:31]:
Okay, so explore some new activities together. Number four, focus on sensual touch. So touch outside of sex helps to relax the person and also creates closeness. So if you feel like every time your partner touches you, it's like a, hey, I'm ready to go. And you're like, God, you know, I don't. I'm not in the mood right now. I'm. I'm like, I got my hands knee deep and making bread, and here you are, like, wanting to have sex.

Renee Yvonne [00:07:00]:
And so sometimes you have to create those moments of touch to nurture closeness. So what? Some of the things you can do, you can massage each other with scented oils or with one of my favorites, which is candles. Because with massage candles, the wax burns at a lower temperature. And then you can take that oil, rub it in your hand, and massage your partner with it. Or maybe you want to do a couple's massage video or something as simple as holding hands. When you go out cuddling, when you're standing together, instead of looking like you don't like each other, it's cuddling on the couch or even slow dancing to your favorite song. Okay? You can also reinvent your date nights. Now, if you're not having a date night, I'm going To say, have a date night plan when you're going to get together and go out and do something, just the two of you.

Renee Yvonne [00:07:55]:
Okay, just the two of you and just go do something. And so maybe you want to do a themed night, right? Maybe you're thinking, okay, my partner's always liked Indian food, let's have a whole Indian food night thing and we'll find someplace to go, listen to the music, or we will have Indian food. But you just, just kind of having something that plays around an entire thing. Maybe you do something really simple, like maybe you have a really nice backyard and you just sit out on the deck, stargaze, have a glass of wine, a few snacks, maybe lay a blanket out and just enjoy the beautiful weather where you are if it's warm enough to do that. Or you can role play, act like you don't know each other and show up somewhere as strangers and flirt with each other that way. And that can be a really fun date to just kind of see where it goes and how it goes. So those are some of the ways you can bring some intimacy into your life. So let me go over them again.

Renee Yvonne [00:08:57]:
Create some intimate rituals, flirt every day with each other, explore some new activities, work on doing some sensual touch, and reinvent those date nights. And by doing that, my pleasure seekers, you have the opportunity to create that intimacy and closeness which can of course, hopefully lead to the sex and the lovemaking that you really want. Okay, so if you want to take this a step further, I'd love for you to join me in the Pleasure palace is my new group and I will have it linked in the show notes. It's a membership group where we dive in, in, dive in deeper into all things about intimacy, connection, pleasure, sexuality, and trust me, this is where the magic happens. So I'd love to see you there. It is free to join this group and I am creating a lot of materials around it to keep everybody active and engaged and an opportunity to learn more about how you can get more pleasure in your life. So thank you for spending some time with me today. I really appreciate it.

Renee Yvonne [00:10:03]:
Don't forget to subscribe. Share this episode with someone you care about. Leave a review for me because it's like sending me a virtual hug. And until next time, remember, pleasure never gets old. Stay sexy, my friends. Bye.